It happened to me again…at a wedding this weekend, a lovely young lady approached Derek and said, “Is this your wife? Hi! I’ve seen so much of you and your darling son on facebook!” I lost the thread of her catch-up conversation with Derek, noticing instead her perfectly highlighted hair, her beautiful bridesmaid dress (this was a bridal party in which all the girls had the perfect bodies to carry off strapless dresses), and a few phrases about her exciting new career. Derek seemed to be mentioning his, and then she asked me that dreaded question…”What do you do?”
I gulped, then mumbled, “Well, I mostly stay home with Tommy…” Her ” oh that’s nice” response pushed me to add that “I also teach a little on the side–English literature, very part-time…” (Somehow that’s supposed to make me seem more important to important- seeming people.) And then she moved off and I felt very aware that this was the first time I’d worn makeup in three months, my (no longer highlighted) hair was air-dried, my dress was a size bigger than all the lovely pre-Tommy dresses I gave away this spring, my nose was almost certainly red from my monster cold, and I’d forgotten to pack any jewelry for the wedding because I was trying to find Tommy’s missing moccasin before we left for the airport. Add the sippy cup in my purse, and I pretty much screamed Stay At Home Mom! My typical feelings of inadequacy when faced with a put-together career girl soon faded, though, and I just felt embarassed for being embarassed about my calling.
Yes, it’s my calling! I’m living my dream at 25–married to a Godly man, mommy to a rambunctious little dude, and keeper of my very own little home. I’ve had the desire to be a stay-at-home wife and mother for as long as I can remember, and God has graciously granted it. Admittedly, I do have moments where I look (bashfully) at other women who seem to have more glamourous lives, but when I walk into the living room and find Tommy pretending he’s a commander of a ship (puppy dog hat and all), I realize that my life can never be sweeter 
than this. God has called me to be faithful in the home, and I love my job. I never grow tired of the funny faces Tommy makes. I love reading Moo, Baa, La La La to him six times a day. Really! So I’m gearing up for next time the dreaded question comes at me unawares–I’m hoping to be able to answer, joyfully, “I get to stay home with Tommy and make a home for him and Derek, and it’s the best job in the world!”
This post hits close to home for me. When asked what I do, I often respond, “I’m a stay-at-home mom, but I do freelance writing on the side.” I have that response in spite of the fact that I had a career and can honestly attest that being a wife and a mother is a MUCH more demanding career choice.
Yet, the cultural voices are so loud that we must, as you suggest, sound back at them with joy that we love our job, and that it is not only worthy work, but the worthiest!
Trust me-there are many times when I would much rather be in your situation- I am trying to learn to be content where God has me and knowing that He, in all his sovereignty, has us exactly where he wants us to be. and that is a pretty amazing and comforting thing!
Oh my goodness, this post is so accurate! I know that exact feeling, looking at another girl who’s done something “real” with her life, and feeling like I’m the frumpy, boring, mom. Thanks for the encouragement!
Love you,
Anna
Oh Emily, do I understand this one. I spent the weekend with the lovely judges and lawyers of the seventh circuit and had numerous big time lawyers ask me what I did. I found the best response was “Well, I’m a chemist but now I’m staying home with my son, and I have found that it’s the best job in the world” How sad is it that I had to add my previous career into the equation, so that they didn’t think I was JUST a stay at home mom and that I DID have a brain. Most of them then made the comment that they were sure my job now was much harder than the previous one…it was somewhat encouraging, but mostly just patronizing…
Thanks, girls, for letting me know I’m not the only one who feels this way (and thanks, Emily S, for reminding me that career girls have the same struggles with identity and contentment)!