Scene One: Derek looks into Tommy’s room to find Em in the rocking chair reading Dr. Seuss to Tommy with her eyes closed.
Em: Boom! Boom! Boom! Mr. Brown is a wonder! Boom! Boom! Boom! Mr. Brown makes thunder!
Derek: Um, I think this is a sign that you need to take Tommy to the library and pick up about 15 new board books.
Em (eyes still closed): He makes lightning, Splat! Splat! Splat! And it’s very, very hard to make a noise like that! (squinting at Derek) I got him new board books the other week, but I already have them all memorized. And the library isn’t open today. (closing her eyes again) Can you turn the page? Mr. Brown can whisper, whisper very soft, very high…
Scene Two: Derek is lounging on the futon, reading the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel A Confederacy of Dunces while Em sits hunched over the computer, reading junk on the internet. Tommy walks in like this:
Derek (proudly): Look! He wants us to read this to him! What an intellectual dude. Do you think he has good taste in reading because he sees Mommy and Daddy reading good stuff all the time?
Em (guiltily closing down the dumb message board she was reading): Um, yeah.