Today I hit a wall emotionally. I have used up a whole tank of gas just driving back and forth to TO for appointments and groceries in the past nine days. After months of sharing one car with Derek and only going out maybe every ten days or so for the past three months, it’s been a huge adjustment to be in the car so much, every day. So that I never complain in Iowa about a busy schedule, I’m going to remind myself of what my life has been like since getting back to Malibu:
Last Monday–arrived at home from Utah after a week of travel and living out of suitcases.
Tuesday–into TO for groceries
Wednesday–into TO for Susie and I to get our hair cut (we both lost ten inches)
Thursday–into TO for Annie’s cardiology appointment, then back home to pick up the other four, then back into TO for all five kids’ dentist appointments
Friday–Adoption finalization here! No driving required, thank the Lord, but an emotional day!
Monday–into TO with Tommy for his well-child check, plus running a few home repair errands before we turn over the house
Tuesday–was supposed to be a stay-at-home day, with a morning zoom with our Inspire teacher and an afternoon zoom with the CHLA GI (thank the Lord I did not waste the usual 6-7 hours going into the hospital to spend ten minutes saying she’s great and there are no changes), but I took the kids to the pool and Janie jumped into the wall and sliced open her chin, so when the bleeding had not stopped three hours later, I had to take her into urgent care for stitches
Wednesday–into TO in the morning for my dentist appointment, then home for twenty minutes, then back into TO in the afternoon for Elizabeth and Susanna’s well-child checks
tomorrow–was supposed to be an at-home day, but now I’ll be going into TO in the morning with Susanna to have the ENT take a look at her surgery ear which has had constant ear infections all spring and has Dr. Vallance wanting a second look. When we get back, I’ll need to take Janie back in to see the urgent care doctor to check her sutures.
Friday–into TO for a socially distanced play date, then we have to be back here in time for me to do a virtual walk-through of the house with the moving company
next Monday–into Hollywood for Annie’s CHLA pulmonary check-up
next Tuesday–into Hollywood for Annie’s CHLA neurological opthamology check-up. She was supposed to also see the neurologist afterwards, but we had to reschedule that one to abide by new social distancing requirements in the clinic, so lucky us, we get to spend another 6-7 hours the following week going back to CHLA!
next Wednesday–into TO for Janie and Annie’s well child check-ups and potential follow-up on Janie’s stitches and some more errands that I can hopefully do with the girls in the car, though if I have to get out of the car, I’ll be dropping them at home and the driving back to TO to do those errands
That’s 21 appointments, and we still have orthodontist and other dr visits yet to come. Oh, and in case I forget, let me remind my future self that every time you drive back on campus, the security guards stop you and drill you on your name, address, every person in your car, where you’re going, and if anyone has covid symptoms (you can’t say we’re all going home and we’re all fine–you have to go through the rigamarole for each person in the car individually). (I’m sure we all are supposed to feel very safe, even as all the neighbors are attending protests in Malibu, Santa Monica, and even downtown–and still insisting that two kids who have not left campus in weeks, playing six feet apart, are the ones endangering everyone because they’re not wearing masks outside!) So getting back home takes an extra five+ minutes, if you’re lucky and there’s not a line ahead of you.
I have felt on the brink of tears for the past day, and Derek is teaching two summer school classes and there are no babysitters around, obviously, so every time I leave with some of the children, I’m leaving the oldest kid remaining in charge, which is not my ideal. When I had booked a bunch of these things six months ago, especially the TO appointments, I’d assumed we’d be spending long, fun days hanging out at the DenHartogs’, with me slipping out with various kids as needed. Obviously covid changed things.
And just normal life is busier. Sweet on-campus friends keep calling or texting at the most inopportune times to see if various children can play. I said yes in one instance, only to find the family in question has not been social distancing. I’m trying to promote outside play, but it was 91 degrees today. The kids want to play with people or have phone dates with friends, but I’m not home enough to facilitate that or figure out timing. Elizabeth called Hannah at 6:30 the other night, not realizing that it was 9:30 pm in South Bend, so Hannah could only talk for a minute, and Susie didn’t get to talk, leading to a whole bunch of screaming and tears. I’m spending hours every day away from the house, then coming home and trying to throw together healthy meals with what we have on hand, then our wonderful realtor who is helping the contractor run things on the renovations of our new house is calling or texting every few hours with questions about bath tubs, shower fixtures, paint, flooring, etc, etc, so I’m having to rush and shop online (because I don’t have time to go walk around a Lowe’s checking things out in person, even if Ventura County were a safe place to mosey around a crowded store). At least the sickening feeling I have every time I spend several hundred dollars on a bath tub or a hunk of granite is muted by whatever crisis is coming next. I need to schedule movers. The plumber, HVAC, and garage door guys need to come out for checks on our unit, or we’ll get billed 125% of the cost to have the University do it. I need to schedule cleaners. Our renters here left a bunch of junk behind that I need to get rid of or set aside for them, but I haven’t had time to take pictures of it and email them to ask what to do with it. I have to find a goodwill that is open. Our greedy slob landlords from South Bend are nitpicking the condition of the house (which we left much cleaner than when we arrived) and are demanding all sorts of extra fees from our deposit, which I eventually just stopped fighting because it’s just money, right? I have made people mad at me through some unfortunate miscommunications, and I feel terrible about it. The house is a semi-packed mess because why pull things out if we’re just going to leave, but things aren’t really packed securely, so they need to be packed and labelled whenever I have some free time. The kids are (understandably) needy all the time. Derek is a weary mess, too, so we’re just kindof trying to prop each other up until the kids get to bed. It’s 9:45 pm, and I can hear Annie talking in her bed from a floor away, which means she’s not going to nap tomorrow, which means it’s going to be extra hard to get anything done when I am home tomorrow. After reprimanding the little girls just now for being up two hours past their bedtime, I glanced into another child’s bedroom and realized that the books and toys they had been told to pick up since the first night we got home were still scattered throughout the floor. I went to put away that child’s suitcase and discovered that it was still full of dirty clothes from the road trip, nine days later. That was the final straw. I confiscated every object on the floor of that bedroom, grounded the child from all friend and internet use indefinitely, and don’t know how I am going to enforce that consequence because I will not be home during the day for much of the coming week!
So…it’s gonna be a long month.