We sang this in church on Sunday:
No Sacrifice
To You I give my life,
Not just the parts I want to.
To You I sacrifice
These dreams that I hold on to.
Your thoughts are higher than mine.
Your words are deeper than mine.
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice: Here’s my life.
To You I give the gifts
Your love has given me.
How can I hoard the treasures
That You designed for free?
To You I give my future,
As long as it may last.
To You I give my present.
To You I give my past.
Your thoughts are higher than mine.
Your words are deeper than mine.
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice: Here’s my life.
This song reduced me to tears when we sang it our first Sunday at HTC, and I got really choked up again on Sunday–it’s hard to really mean what I’m saying when these words remind me that God has taken a significant part of my future out of my hands in a way that I wasn’t planning on. As we close in on our third child’s duedate, I’m reliving a lot of the hopes and dreams I had while pregnant at this time last year. Alone for good portions of the past six weeks and every Sunday, I’ve had a lot of time to think and hash things out with God. The words of this song really are true, though I don’t want to sing them. I need to relinquish my children–the sick one sleeping next door, the one already worshiping before the Throne, and the one kicking around inside of me–to the Father whose love is stronger than Derek’s and mine. My anxiety accomplishes nothing; He has a perfect plan for each of them. I only think it’s a sacrifice when I forget Who gave me the treasures in my life to begin with. Though it’s a hard reminder, I’m glad that our worship leader picked this song to close our service this week.