Letters from Pemberley

Several friends are having babies this year, and we feel like we’ve gotten a few things figured out with two kids under the belt.  So here is the long-promised (sorry, girls!) list of baby items we recommend…or which we wish we’d known about! 

Carseats

I think this is the most important area–I would rather spend money on this and save in every other area so that I know my kids are safe.  The easier a carseat is to use, the more likely parents (and babysitters/relatives) are to use it correctly.  An incorrectly used carseat is NOT safe.

You will actually need three carseats for your child over the course of his childhood.  We’ve read about skipping the infant seat and going straight to a convertible, but we strongly disagree.  We kept both our kids in the carrier as long as possible–you can snap it in and out of the car, the stroller, carts at the grocery store, and (if you’re lucky) can bring a sleeping child inside to finish her nap.  Once your child outgrows his convertible (Tommy did at two and a half), they need a booster seat (in most states, until 60 or 80 pounds).

Infant Carriers:  The Graco Snug Ride has great safety ratings and is relatively light.  We liked ours.  The basic model (that carries up to 22 lbs) retail for a little over $100.  You can pay more for a carrier that goes up to 30 or 35 lbs, but we found that our kids were too heavy to lug around in the carseat before even the 22 lb limit and moved them up to the next carseat.  If you opt to get them as part of a Graco travel system (see below), it may be a little less.

Convertibles:  We moved out of the Snug Ride and into the Graco Comfort Sport (we spent $20 more for more padding–well worth it, in our view).  (UPDATE–we know that the ComfortSport works very well in a car crash, but Graco has recently come out with the MyRide which people seem to recommend more as it can fit your child up to 65 lbs rather than the 40 lbs for the ComfortSport.  The 40 lb limit is no problem for us, as we have the next kid growing into ours long before the limits are maxed out.)   Britax carseats can be twice as much, so we didn’t get one first time, but they are the gold standard around here, and the Britax Roundabout is now under $180–if you buy it from Bed, Bath, and Beyond (did you know they sold carseats?!), you can use your 20% off coupon, too!  When we replace our convertible carseat, we will get a Roundabout. 

If you’re lucky, you’ll get BOTH carseats for shower presents and won’t have to buy another one for two and a half years.  I wasn’t that lucky, but you may be.

Boosters:  Okay, you won’t need this for awhile, so don’t worry about it if you’re still just expecting, but we love our Britax Frontier 85 (which replaced the Frontier which kept Tommy perfectly safe in the crash).  We’ve gotten rave reviews from everyone we know who has one, and now that I see how much easier it is to adjust, get in and out of the car, etc, I am a Britax believer for life.  We shopped around for a sale–and we can use it up to 85 pounds, so it will be around for awhile.

Strollers

I wish I’d known more when I registered for our stroller.  We have four right now–the Graco Metro Lite that came as a travel system with our carseat, an umbrella stroller that folds small for Grandma’s house, a Peg Perego Aria double side-by-side stroller that I don’t like, and our Phil and Teds Vibe.  In retrospect, we really only ever needed the Phil and Teds.  Yes, they are more expensive, but if you add up how much I spent on the other three strollers we don’t really need, I think it would have been a wash.  We got a GREAT deal on our Vibe at Costco, but I would recommend a Sport model if you don’t find a Vibe for cheaper!  And right now Cotton Babies has a sale where you can get the doubles kit for free.  They’re a great, missionary-loving company, and I would buy from them in a heartbeat.

A few things to consider:  If you like to walk or run, get a jogger (different design, bigger wheels) rather than a traditional stroller.  I managed with my Graco, but it is SO much easier with my P&T, and I’ll never go back.  If you are planning on having more kids within two years, consider getting a double stroller to begin with so that you don’t have to buy another one after the next kid.  (I don’t like side-by-sides like my PP because they’re so wide and the kids have to be pretty close in weight to not feel off balance.  I don’t like two-in-a-rows because they’re so darn long and unwieldy.  See what works for you!)  If you really just want the Graco travel system because you’re just going to walk at the mall, get a lighter one (my Metro Lite is 17 lbs versus a friend’s 33 lb Quattro–and that’s before the baby gets in!).

Carriers

I am not a babywearer, so my use of carriers is limited to field trips and rare cleaning days at home.  It’s a very personal choice, but if I had it to do over again, I would get the Baby Bjorn Active.  Cheaper ones are practically worthless, and the classic BB we have has less lumbar support.  I’ve tried my neighbor’s Ergo, but I like the flexibility of front- or back-facing better with the BB.  Anna also sells Mei Tais, and she and other babywearing friends seem to prefer them.  I would recommend asking around to borrow a couple different types of carriers from friends before buying one–most of us only use them for a few months and then have them sitting in the basement between kids, so we’re happy to lend them out.  My Baby Bjorn Classic is available to whoever asks to borrow it first!

Swings and Seats

Don’t buy these new.  But if you do, don’t buy a swing AND a bouncy seat AND a johnny jump-up AND an exersaucer.  Some kids like one thing, some like another.  Borrow or buy used before you invest.  Tommy didn’t like the swing, but he did like his bouncer/rocker seat.  Elizabeth didn’t like that so much, but I got a used swing that she loved.  I found our exersaucer at goodwill for $5.  BeBe Pod vs Bumbo?  I’ve been given both.  The former is terrible.  The Bumbo is amazing.  Don’t need to get a high chair for so much longer if you have one.  We have a simple wood high chair that doesn’t rock, recline, or wheel around.  We love it without all the bells and whistles.

Nursing Supplies

I struggled with nursing Tommy for the first 3 months, and I found a boppy to be helpful.  From experience, I’d recommend getting an extra cover for when it gets spit up or blown out on, as it’s easier to wash covers than to put the whole boppy in the washing machine.   I didn’t need it as long with Elizabeth, but that didn’t keep me from accumulating 3 of them.  This is another thing that many moms may be willing to pass on!  And bring it with you to the hospital–it made such a difference for me the second time around.  If you have trouble nursing, make sure to see a lactation consultant at least twice before calling it quits.  Mine helped me so much!  Now that I’m buying formula for baby showers, I’m floored by how expensive it is.  Breastfeeding certainly is a money saver!

As far as pumps go, I had a handheld Avent pump for Tommy that worked fine, as I rarely went anywhere and needed to pump.  This time around, I’m borrowing my neighbor’s Medela Pump in Style, and it is nice, fast, and (relatively) comfortable.  If you’re planning to stay home, a hand pump is sufficient.  If you’re having milk supply issues like I did twice, just rent a hospital grade one for a month.  If you’re planning to go back to work, obviously a good electric one is a necessity!

Pack N Plays, Bassinets, and Cribs

Pack N Plays can come with tons of bells and whistles, but we found the simplest Graco model fit our needs.  We didn’t need music, a changing table (we used the bathroom counter or our bed), or whatever else costs the extra $100-200.  Because we had the pack n play, we didn’t need a bassinet.  Tommy slept in it for his first 6 months.  We’ve taken it all over the country, and it’s holding up great.

If you’re planning on having more than one child, the 3-in-1 cribs that they try to sell you are stupid.  I’m planning to have kids in a crib nonstop for at least 10 years, so I don’t need a crib that converts to a toddler bed and then to a twin.  I just moved Tommy to a twin with a $40 craigslist frame before Elizabeth was born.  Used cribs can be dangerous if the slats are too wide, the mattress doesn’t fit, or there’s exposed hardware.  There are plenty of sites that can tell you what to look for if you decide to go used.

Other Furniture

You don’t need a separate changing table or even a dresser with a changing table top.  We got the former as a gift, but it’s more important for storage of cloth diapers than for diaper changing.  It’s nice, but we didn’t have room for it in our first apartment, and the bathroom counter worked just fine.  A bed or the floor work, too.  We have an inexpensive rocker/glider for nursing/soothing (again, a gift), and our kids like it.  Some friends have kids who hate to be rocked, so I don’t think it’s a huge priority.

Diapers

Well, you know what I think about diapering!  Cloth is the way to go financially if you have more than one kid, but I would not recommend it if you don’t have your own washer/dryer in your home.  Nicki’s Diapers is my favorite online place for cloth diapering supplies.

Clothing

In our experience, it was pointless to register for clothes because people just want to give you what they think is cute!  I never pay full price for clothes.  Up to 2T, kids just don’t spend enough time in clothes to wear them out too much (though Tommy is starting to now in his 3Ts), so most of my shopping has been garage sales in ritzy neighborhoods or rummage sales (or the occasional mall clearance rack).  We’re so blessed to have hand-me-downs for Elizabeth from our neighbor’s two girls, so we haven’t had to buy anything for her (though I couldn’t resist a Christmas dress).  I’m currently lending two sizes of boy’s clothes to Kristen, and I’ll pass along the next size when Tommy outgrows them.  I personally don’t mind if they come back a bit more worn since they were all mostly used to begin with.  Moral of the story: used baby clothes are great!

Whew!  Well, that’s all I can think of right now.  I’m going to go finish sorting the baby stuff for the Caris shower tomorrow night, and if I see something that I forgot to mention, I’ll come back and edit.  I’m also interested in hearing what other “veteran” moms have to say about gear they like/dislike/wish they had done differently!