I can pretty much determine if it’s a good day or not by how many compliments I get on Tommy while out and about in the morning. If no one, even the cashiers, notices how cute he is or how he’s flirting with them, it’s pretty much going to be a downer of a day. If I’m in the produce aisle and a cute little old lady with a British accent tells me, “Your son is lovely–simply lovely. Is he always this sweet?” then I know we’re going to have a pretty good afternoon. I always enjoy shopping at our local Aldi, because all the girls there love Tommy. One of them always says how he looks like her nephew. Another always says she loves the name Tommy. The darkhaired one always lets him play with the EBT/Debit machine while she rings up our groceries. Tommy loves them all and flirts indiscriminately. If I go to Trader Joe’s, the effeminate guy who does the samples in the back will usually compliment us. One time I went in there with Tommy wearing a bright orange romper, and he said, “She’s beautiful.” Taking the way his gate swings into the equation, I think it was still a compliment. But I’ve made sure to put Tommy in ultra-boy gear every time since.
I recently went into baby Gap and Gymboree to search the sale racks for a shower gift. At both stores, the clerks flirted outrageously with Tommy and told me he’s just the cutest boy they’ve ever seen. Do they train their clerks to do this at upscale baby stores? The next day, when Tommy and I were having a rough morning, I seriously considered going back to baby Gap just to have someone tell me my child was charming (and to see if those cute polo shirts had gone on sale yet).
Today we went to the art museum with my mom to see a special quilting exhibit. Tommy wasn’t too keen on the quilts, but he did put on quite a show for the docents and the little old ladies. He acts like he doesn’t understand, “No, Tommy! Do NOT take that banana peel out of the trash can!” but he certainly understands, “Is he ALWAYS this good?” He does the whole cock the head on one side and batt the eyelashes routine and convinces everyone except his mother that he is a perfect little angel. He also loves making any woman over the age of 14 play “peekaboo” with him. I’m not sure this is good for his ego. He already kisses his reflection in the mirror, so he’s on the way to becoming a narcissist.
So reader poll: Should I keep choosing the lanes with the nice cashiers to tell me that my child is wonderful (and unfortunately puff up his ego in the process), or should I give up the bright spot of my day and go in teenage male cashier lanes in order to keep Tommy from being too conceited? As for me being too conceited, I know those tantrum-in-the-middle-of-the-public-library days are just around the corner, so I’m not too worried about needing to keep myself humble.