On Wednesday night, the kids and I were in a serious car accident, but we are all okay.
We were driving down to visit Kristen and Jay in Richmond, VA, and just outside of Winchester, I went off the road and we flipped/rolled over sideways into the ditch in the median, landing back on our wheels. No one else was involved. I don’t know how it happened–I was not speeding, passing someone, talking or texting, eating, reaching back to feed the kids, or anything. The cruise control was on, and soft Christmas music was playing. It was pitch dark and the road was a bit curvy. All I remember is that suddenly I was heading into the bushes on the side, I tried to pull back over to the right to get back into the lane, and we lost control and started rolling down into the ditch.
The kids were firmly in their 5 point harness carseats, Tommy on the right and Lizzie in the middle, and I had taken the time at the last pit stop to really pull them up high and tight on them (sometimes they push them down and wriggle out of the top part). They literally did not even peep the whole time–no shouting, crying, or anything. My seatbelt was on, obviously, but I slid to the far left of my seat as we rolled, and my left side got banged up against the side of the car. The airbags did not inflate, and since we had no forward impact, the seatbelt did not even grip on my stomach.
My first reaction was to look back at the kids, who were totally fine, and I told Tommy we’d been in an accident. People were coming and prying the right side door open and calling the police before I even had time to find the phone to call Derek. They pried open Tommy’s door and got the kids out and in the ambulance to keep them warm. My door took some more work to get open because the entire left side of the car was done in, but I was able to get out myself and walk up to the ambulance. The kids didn’t even have a scratch and never complained a second. As soon as I told the EMT I was 21 weeks pregnant, we decided to take me to the ER to get the baby checked out, even though I felt okay.
I was admitted to the ER around 7, and we hung out in a room there for about three hours. We got a doppler on my stomach asap and heard the heart beat just fine, then they did some blood tests and a physical to make sure I was okay. The kids were literally in this tiny room for three hours (after their bedtime) with just a few books in the diaper bag for amusement. They were perfect–cheerful, obedient, and totally unfazed that mommy was on a hospital bed in a gown. Just to be safe, I was admitted to the hospital and transferred up to labor and delivery to do more extensive testing on the baby. We did a fetal heart monitor for 30 minutes and a basic ultrasound, and the heartbeat was perfect and we saw no damage to the baby or the placenta. The baby was moving fine, I had no contractions or abdominal pain, and they released me at 11 pm, just as Jay was arriving from Richmond. The kids were still cheerful and friendly with the nurses and were supernaturally well behaved this whole time. The dr prescribed some hardcore pain meds, but I’ve been able to manage with just two extra strength tylenol every 4 hours.
Because you can’t use carseats after they’ve been in a serious accident, Jay borrowed a Tommy-sized seat from a friend and brought Sam’s for Lizzie. We loaded up our overnight stuff and the two damaged carseats into his car, and we drove back to Richmond, getting in just before 2 am. The kids did not sleep well, and I only got an hour or so because I couldn’t stop thinking about the accident.
Kristen and I had planned all sorts of fun activities for Thursday, but I spent the entire morning on the phone with various insurance/hospital/car rental calls, then I got in an hour nap with the kids. Then Kristen took me out to buy new carseats for the kids and Jay made us all dinner. I didn’t manage to get the replacement rental car until 10, out at the airport, so by the time we got back and installed the carseats, I got to bed around midnight.
I had a regularly scheduled OB-GYN appointment at 1 pm in State College on Friday that I wanted to keep so we could check up on the baby, so we got up at 5:45 am and drove to Winchester to get the rest of our belongings out of the Vue, which is incredibly totalled. It was amazing that none of us got a single scratch from glass on Wed night, though the sunroof and back window totally shattered, and I actually got more scratched up from the glass shards while cleaning out the car. I missed my exit on the toll road coming back into Pennsylvania, and there wasn’t another exit for 30 miles, so I realized I wasn’t going to make it home by 12:30 as planned. That’s the first time I cried. We got to the clinic by 1:30, and my OB checked me out head to toe, did a low-grade ultrasound, and sent me over to the high-def ultrasound tech to make sure the placenta definitely looked alright, which it did. He ordered a blood test to make sure that the baby is not bleeding out to me, but we are all feeling really confident that the baby is okay. I’ll go back in two weeks rather than the standard four just to double-check before Christmas that everything is really okay. I have total peace that all three of my children are completely healthy and safe.
While this was the most terrifying experience of my life, I am SO glad for several things. Our Vue did exactly what it was supposed to in a crash, totalling the body but keeping us completely safe. (This is the second time a member of our family has been in a serious crash with a Saturn–John was broadsided a couple years back–and those cars have done such a good job of protecting the occupants.) The kids were well-restrained with their latch belts, and I am so incredibly grateful for their carseats. The Britax Frontier booster seat and Graco Comfort Sport convertible seat have earned our trust forever. I replaced them with the exact same ones. I am so, so grateful for the friends who convinced me last winter to get Tommy a Britax with a five-point harness even though he legally could just be in a basic booster with a seatbelt. He was literally unscratched because he was held in so well. He might have been alive if he’d been in a simpler booster, but he certainly would have been thrown around during the rolling like I was. Parents, I am now a diehard believer in 5-point harness as long as your child can possibly stand it (Tommy doesn’t know any different and doesn’t mind at all). I was tempted to say that I’m a good driver and the chances of an accident are so low that we could go with a cheaper, simpler seat, but if this happened to me, it could happen to anyone. I would scrimp on anything else before carseats. I’m so grateful that Jay and Kristen had access to the proper carseats so that they could come get us safely. I’m just grateful that we have such amazing friends who let the kids and I just invade their house and cause chaos for a day.
I’ve tried to type everything out so that I don’t have to explain any of the details again to anyone. When I close my eyes, I keep replaying the whole thing again and again in my brain, trying to figure out what could have distracted me to send me off the road. Was I looking at the ipod or the Garmin or in the rearview mirror at the kids? I just don’t know. One of the nurses saw our wreck as she was driving to work, and she said that it was really windy and the road was strange because it had been raining earlier. I guess that makes me feel a little better, but I keep imagining the might-have-beens if the kids had not been okay. So I’ve only gotten about 7 hours of sleep in the past two days. I really need to break this thought cycle, so please don’t call or email about it right now. I’ll bring it up when I’m ready to talk about it again.
I know that God protected us in so, so many ways this week. Tonight I was singing to Elizabeth, “Oh to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be!” God graciously protected us from a situation that could have been so much worse. The kids were not hurt at all and I just am sore and bruised. The lives of all four of us in that car wreck are totally a gift from Him. We’ve had so many scares with this new baby so far–seven ultrasounds in 21 weeks!–but he or she looks perfect every time. God has a plan for this little one.
If you don’t hear from us for a while, we’re recovering and figuring out paperwork, insurance claims, buying a new car, etc, etc. We hope to have the bulk of stuff figured out by Christmas. We’ll holler when we have time again.
